No gold for Pop

Oct. 30, 1999

“Mr. West, we are going to have a party next week, right?” Domenique’s 92 years old, dying grandfather asks out loud. He’s calling Mr. West, who died nearly 20 years before.

11 years old, Domenique has no real clue what was going on. She never really understood death. At 11, she still never had the opportunity to experience death.
All of her animals were still alive. All of her family members were still alive. This is it. This is the opportunity no child wants to experience. And there her grandfather lay in a St. Barnabus Hospital bed in Livingston, N.J.

Mr. West is unknown to the youngling. He was her grandfather’s best friend throughout his life. Just like St. Paul and St. Barnabus, the two had many life experiences together.

Domenique stands next to her brother, sister, mother, father and aunt. All around of them her grandfather tucked under his sky blue sheets.

He keeps turning up his hearing aid. In 1999, Bluetooth headsets were yet to be invented, but his hearing aid was working as if it were one today. Each call takes him to someone else. Mr. West had already hung up. Now, Sheeby is calling in.

“Sheeby, my grandchildren are all here to see me,” Domnique’s grandfather starts saying. Sheeby was a family friend from when Domenique’s mother was a kid, nearly 30 years before. Domenique has no idea who her grandfather is calling out to.

He lays in the stark white room going through his dying moments. He comes in and out of consciousness as he fights to keep alive. He is battling a heart condition. According to the National Center for Health Statistics, 24.1 million people die from heart disease each year. Another 4.2 million people are hospitalized with some sort of heart disease.

In that hospital bed, Domenique doesn’t care about those millions but she sees millions of memories dwindling away as his heart begins to fade away. This is a man that used to pick his nose while watching Westerns on television. Domenique would tell him, “There ain’t no gold in Texas, Pop!” when he would start digging away in his nostrils.

Now she looks at him and a cure to his condition would be like finding gold in Texas. Unfortunately, at 92, a battle to stay alive seems as likely as finding that gold.

The six family members stand by the ill patient. Domenique has no real concept of what is happening. She thinks, “We are just visiting. I not saying goodbye to anyone or anything. I’ll see him soon.”

Her grandfather knows otherwise. At his wise age, death is not something you can be bashful about. The average life expectancy of a male is around 74. He was 18 years past that and unlike his granddaughter he knew what was next for him.

He starts to come back to consciousness, “I’m going to give ya’ll some money before you go home.”

Domenique’s aunt tries to get in on the money give away, “You going to pass the hat around? Do I get some?”

He was dying, but not going crazy, “No.” The small assembly chuckles at the exchange.

Nov. 1, 1999

Domenique’s grandmother made a few calls. The outcome was locked in to be grime. No, gold was going to be found here. Her grandfather was allowed to be discharge so he could die in his own bed and leave St. Barnabus’ comfortable oasis.

Domenique still didn’t fully comprehend what that meant. To her, leaving the hospital was a good thing. When people go home they are getting better, not preparing to die peacefully.

Her brother, sister and her sit around the kitchen table. The Game Show Network plays into the background. This was the same table that the kids used to eat sweet potato pie with Pop.
He sits across from them and pulls out a big yellow envelope. Three smaller money envelopes are inside. He’s about to deliver on his promise from the hospital.

“Keep an eye out for Nana and the other two,” her grandfather advises the television watching kids. He wasn’t a big fan for the “other two”; Domenique’s two aunts. He always thought Domenique’s family was the most fun.

The three turned the friendly advice into a little game. They split up and searched the Victorian home. They made sure no one else would enter the kitchen where the four sat.

He begun sorting $6,000. Each got a third of this sweet pie, his last gift. All Domenique can think about is making sure Nana and her aunts don’t come out. The previous warning meant more than money to her. The only thing she wanted money for was going to White Castle on “Kids’ Night.”

The three kids give their share of the money to their parents. This was quite the allowance for the little ones.

Domenique’s dad has finished packing the red Dodge Ram van during the exchange. Domenique has done the goodbye scene many times. She tells everyone, “We’ll see you in December!” Every Christmas, Domenique’s family drives the 10 hours from North Carolina to New Jersey to celebrate with the extended family.

The three children, mother and father pile into the van. Her grandfather waves his final goodbye from the porch. Domenique thinks they’ll be back to see everyone soon. They will.

A week later they returned. His funeral was Nov. 8, 1999.